Days like these are when I want to kill myself the most.

Having no one to sit with at lunch is one thing. This is just high school, its not forever. I know that even if it hurts like it’ll last forever, its not. I’ve had friends before I moved here. It’s not that I’m completely unlikeable.

But when I go home, tired of a day of having no one who considers me a friend and no one I can consider a friend, wanting to be in my family’s embrace. I am insulted. I am called stupid, fat, retarded, ugly. What I am I supposed to do with that. How am I supposed to depend on that.

And I find myself crying to the point of vomiting and there’s nowhere to go. I can’t go to school and I can’t go to home. And there’s no point anymore and life is so so stupid. But I’d never kill myself because I’m too afraid of eternal damnation.

But God, if you’re out there, why do I suffer so much.

shineeforlover:

If I could make anyone a sandwich to make them fall in love with me it’d be Jay Park